3 tips to get along with people in Hong Kong

Hong Kong is a multi-dimensional and a multi-cultural city. On the streets and in the skyscrapers of Hong Kong people from different parts of the world mix, play and do business like they do in no other city in the world.

Many of them belong to multinational corporations and the outsourcing industry. It‟s a pity that Dale Carnegie had no idea that one day corporations would go so global and the world will go flat from being round.

Though flat the world still does rotate at a dizzying pace. Also, the diversity, the technologies and the challenge of working with people with different mindsets does drive everyone around circles every single day.

For the last five years I have been successfully sharing studies, practices and techniques in the area of how to win friends and influence people of different cultures. How do I know what to do? Well, for one, all my life, everywhere I went, in everything I did, I was the odd one out. I was always Rudolf the Red-nosed Indian.

So I went ahead and converted my challenges into my catalysts for success in dealing with others. I read, I listened, I observed, I asked questions and I delved gently and carefully into the deeper side of the unknown.

For the last three years I also sat down scores of expatriates living and working in the Philippines and probed into their norms and their values. I picked their brains on how to, not just get along but to, succeed swimmingly with them and people from different cultural backgrounds.

These cultural backgrounds or cultural dimensions as they are called are numerous. They are about what we believe, how we think, how we behave, and how we relate, regulate and communicate with others.

Most all of our beliefs, our thinking, our habits and our communication styles rise first from the kind or terrain we originate from then from our history and finally from the impact of the world beyond our cultural borders.

I could go on and on about what is real, what was true in the past and what the future might be from these perspectives and from the impact of a fast-flattening world but let me get you started with three little tips on how to get along with people of different cultures.

One, Realize and Recognize that what you see, hear and feel about others is a view from inside of you thus it is distorted by the filters of your own mind. Or, better said, filters of your own beliefs, your own thinking, your own habits and your own communication style.

It is like walking about while wearing tinted glasses. When you wear blue shades everything takes on hue of blue for you. It is not easy to do away with these shades because they have been growing on us ever since we were born.

There is also, never really a need to do away but just become realize and recognize the fact that we ALL wear shades of some hue and colour. Yes, we all do.

Two, Slow down or, even, Stop stereotyping people based on how they look, how they behave and how they communicate. Sure, we need to make assessments before we interact but slowing down this assessment/judging process will give you a bigger/holistic view of what lies ahead and who stands in your presence.

Time is a healer and giving time to assess, think and feel is a good technique to help you communicate and lead across cultures. In Filipino language and culture this is a value and is known as "Kapwa.” It is the ability to recognize a reflection of ourselves in others-a reflection that they too are human just like our self. Slow down, Stop and Reflect. 

Three, Ask and you Shall Understand what others believe, how others think and what they want out of the interaction or the situation. Most often than not all the world goes into a “tell” mode when they want something to happen. We use words like “would,” “should” and “could” relentlessly and mercilessly to deal and lead others.

We do this without realizing that we are messing up others and, thus, our world by imposing the colors of our own mind and culture on others. Asking or inquiring is expressing interest in others and it gives them the space to express, think, own and participate in a positive outcome. Questions, as many will agree, generate the answers and outcomes of relating well with others.

That's leading others and across cultures. That is living and succeeding in a wonderful city called Hong Kong.